24 hour get-away

I always look forward to the weekend where i get to stay up late and sleep in. 

Not worrying that i gotta get up at 7 in the morning the next day. 

After working a month? Time seems to pass by like a flash and in two weeks time it'll be 2012. 

Past weekend? did.not.get.drunk

i missed the redbull vodka or the cranberry vodka. 

Or the midori pineapple, could do some bailey's caramel too. 

But sadly, let's just say we do not indulge such drinks here. 

Would like to get drunk again some day to the extend i have NO IDEA WHAT I"M DOING!!!

I'm pretty sad cz my camera's charger isn't with me. so all i'm holding is a dead battery camera. with an iphone which has no flash (it kinda sucks doesn't it?)

So after a weekend away, Back to reality of 9am-5pm of 8 hours work. 

By the end of the day, i'm too tired to turn on my laptop. 

Let's just say it had proven i'm not much of an office lady. :D

Long Distance Relationship

Long distance relationship

How many of us ACTUALLY have had a long distance relationship? I'm not talking about being in another state. where you drive few hours to see each other. Or you could hop on a bus or train during the weekend to see each other. I'm talking about being miles and miles in different countries taking hours of expensive flight. 

I've had it before. and it's NOT fun. But it's also the perfect time to prove your loyalty and how each of us put our trust in our partners. We can't kiss, hug and make up for the mistakes we've done. For the tiniest thing that's said that hurt each other. All we have are just images, videos, and text. But at the same time, it shows and reveals how much we mean for each other and we learn to appreciate the things we had that we never knew we did. I could write a book about LDR but most people who get bored reading it here. 

Love is a many splendid thing, some would say it's a risk to take for whatever it's worth it. For i'll say, what's important are the silly happy memories that we have together. and not regretting what we did not do.

So i came across this video, with the title "Long Distance Relationship". Well, firstly, people might think 'oh, it's either gonna break up in the end, or some boring video about how both of them are lonely and they move apart' I hesitated for a while before i clicked play. But oh well, it's no harm. and my boyfriend came and said to me ''watch this!"

When i clicked play and started watching it, i smirked and smiled at him and pointed how we use to do it together. Then, i started crying, me being an emotional girl who cries even when a cartoon character dies in the movie. i just couldn't help it.
I have watched this video 3 to 5 times, and i tear everytime.
Being produced in malaysia by malaysian, it's a really creative and they really brought the emotional of the story out well.
thumbs of for them. (don't wanna give out spoilers) watch it. :)

Love is everywhere, there is no distance. All you have to do is stop the resistance.

I love you. You know i will always, always will. 

The best thing is to love and be loved in return.

A really long post i wrote on the flight. I was bored and i was thinking :D

Different people have different ways and things of dealing with relationship. Requirements and conditions are different, there isn't never a right or wrong way, never a doubt or worthy or not. It's all about, doing something and never regretting it. If it's something you would regret and take it as a way to revenge against it. Don't do it. That's not right, and even if you insist, you have no right to say it's not fair when people do not stand at your side. 

To me, being loved in return is the most important thing. Girls call me stupid, guys tell me they'd love me to bits if i were their girlfriend. Guys are girls are different, physically and mentally, due to the chromosomes that separates us. There's a reason for being different. I can never tell you what to do if you don't agree with how i deal with my things. There's no point of me giving advice to someone who thinks i'm stupid. I would advice once, persuade twice, teach and point the third, and after that, i get third if you still do not agree with me. 

First thing's first, my boyfriend has never cheated on me. So whatever you read after this, do not doubt, if you do, stop reading. If you do and you think i'm stupid. Don't tell me. Accept the fact, everyone has their own ways of dealing things. Even when your best friend says ''ya! i think of that too". How sure are you she's saying it so you won't explain more and she'd have to listen more or do you really think she agrees with it?

I may not be perfect, but i am happy to be where i am. Being in a relationship isn't about how much time the guy spends with you, how much money he spends on you, where does he bring you, how many friends does he show you too, how much does he talk to you. If you love him, none of this matters. If you love him, the smallest thing he does, makes you smile. People tell me i deserve better, If you think i do, introduce to me a guy who you think i deserve better, and i'd look and judge after that. If you can't think of a person at all, don't tell me i deserve better. I know you care for me, i know you love me, that's why you think i deserve better. But by far so far now, i am having the best. 

To me, it isn't about him not seeing other girls, him not going out of other girls, not even looking at girls, not talking to girls, not texting girls, not bumping into an old friend and saying hi and chat for a while, not being able to talk to his ex, not being able to do anything related to any other girl asides you. I am not that selfish. If demanding and making him not do anything to another girl, or even look at them, that's controlling. That's doing small actions trying to keep him to yourself. isn't that selfish? Relationship is about trust. If you let something go, if it loves you, it will come back. This is something everyone should know. 

Insecureness will always be there, Afraid of losing will always be there. But it doesn't mean you have to control and make him not see other girls. If you're unhappy about that certain girl, tell him straight "baby, i'm afraid to lose you to her. i'm not controlling. Just telling you how i feel." Don't keep it to yourself and get angry and emotional for nothing without telling him why. Would you like it if he gets mad at you and not tell you why?

Guys will always be guys, which guy wouldn't take an opportunity, all guys would be curious, to know what it would be. So when there's a chance, they won't push it. But as long as the guy knows his limit. It's alright. I may be weird, you might hate me. But i would let my boyfriend do what he wants, because i know, it's all about curiosity, and in the end, he comes home to me. In the end, the one he loves is me. and that's all the matters. 

I use to be a girl that relies on him alot. And it drives me mad because i wanted to do everything with him. But to learn, he needs his freedom as well. and after 3 weeks being in two different countries, sparks came back and we missed each other more than ever. I love him not because he controls me. but because he knows me. He can make me mad and he can make me smile in less than a minute, no matter how mad how upset i am. He can make me smile. Friends have witness it. That is why i love him, because he can make me smile. he knows what i want. and he loves me back. with his heart. He may like and have interest in other girls, but that's not love from his heart or his eyes. 

So, how well do you know your men?

Cruelty should not be forgiven

One thing that i can never understand and never liked is abusing and cruelty. But humanity in the world, people would do anything just to get what they want because of greed. Especially when it comes to money. It is something that we can't actually do much about it, because what punishment do you give them asides public humiliated? But some of them have such thick face that they don't care about the public. They greed so much about money, they just don't care more. 

I firstly came across on a video from a friend who shared it and did not know what was going on. But all he and his friend said was it was really cruel (in malay), so that means it must be that mad right? So then i stumbled along a news on it.

Read the more to understand  here

_______________

Well, all Malaysian know it is the Raya holiday for the last week. and most of them are going home, hence leaving many of their pets with no one to care. and Heard of Cat hotel? yea.. my uncle does that when he comes back down. So does many people, and one company that does it, Petknode. who now has conned over greed. taking too many pets in with no place. and worst of all? with no one to care and they were not in themselves.

The shop owner took in about 300 cats, 16 of them died over hunger, starvation and dehydration. and apparently, they weren't feed anything for nine days! Like come on, if you really want do it. at least go hire someone to take care of it. And they filled the shop sooooo much, they brought back the cats to their HOME. 

No charges were taken by the police, they were question, and release the next day. 

I'm lucky i'm not there. as an animal lover, i would pick up a stick beat up up. shave their head HALF and lock them up with a tub of water and no food. (at least i gave water!) for ten days. seriously, these people won't learn and it's such a shame to the soceity. 

The videos are pretty blur and nothing much that you can see because too many people moving around. 

I didn't really quite understood what happen and had to research and read more about it. 

Life is full of temptation.

You guys might read this before, i have. many times. But i would love to share it because it's really meaningful.

Regardless being in a relationship, marriage or not. You should read this.   

___________

MARRIAGE

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outsidethe door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.

My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage.

Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

Then i came across this too. 

 I think most of us seen this on Facebook shared around right? 

Well, one thing that we all know and learn and SHOULD be doing is. appreciate what we have. 

People often take advantage of each other and some do it without realising it. and it always takes a third person to make their realise that. Life is full of temptations, but we should all know our limits. It's never wrong to go out, to meet new people. But in the end of the day, who do you love and care and chose, you should be clear. Arguments and disagreements are normal. Just because there is something both don't agree on, doesn't mean it will never work. So, think and appreciate who's there for you :)

Truth behind a relationship.

A friend once asked me why I stayed with my boyfriend through thick an thin. Regardless of the numbers of fights and arguments. Or the small minor attitudes we get ticked off easily. Nobody's perfect and who doesn't argue?





We give and expect nothing in return. An advice my dad has given me and friends have reminded me. Though some people say it'll be stupid to give and get nothing return, to love and be treated badly? But no, whether or not give or to love, it's your decision. Friends may come upon with suggestion and opinions. Some might influence you, but one thing for all, YOU have the right to make the decision. Your trends won't hate you for not listening/following their advice. If they are mad and not talking to you, get another friend.

Before you give/love, think before if it's worth it. When you are in doubts, there's no harm trying. You never try, you'd never know - my Bf teaches me.





I loved and stayed with him because I love him and I'm loved in return.

The best thing is to love and be loved in return -moulin rouge.

Yes, he might not be the kind of guy who shows his affection in public or to me all the time. But when it comes to critic moments and when I'm drop down in a depression hole. He'd not just lend me a hand to lift me up. But he's jump into the hole, and carry me back up.

He knows my likes and dislikes better than anyone else. Some can say it's naive cause he knows my weakness and will take advantage of me. But he's bot physically abusive. What matters the most is, he is able to make me smile whenever he wants. Just a snap away. Even when I'm in the most depression emotional moment where I felt like suicide is the only choice, he could just come over and make me laugh in 5 minutes.

Now you might be thinking if he could do it, why will he even let me step into that hole? Well, he's not my butler, not my maid, he's my boyfriend who has his friends, his time, his life, his thinking. I do expect him to be there 24/7 thinking on my behalf as well. In another way of saying it, I have my own in-dependancy.




If a guy can never make you smile when you're in the saddest, deepest moment. He's not the one.

My Bf is not perfect either, it gets on my nerve when he ignores me. Or not reply my question. Same goes as everyone who has that tiny bit that annoys each other. Stop and think why. Like for me, I am a very energetic noisy, jumpy, chatterbox who comments on every darn thing that I see and come across. And he's the kind of guy that doesn't comment and just keeps quiet. Unless it's family. Or gf. And only in some certain says or occasion. (mood). It's just two person coming along. So think just step back and stand in your partners shoe to know why.

There's never a not being able to work out. It's the communication, trust, hope, and faith.



----
Now, just a fun list :)

Ten things why he's the one.
1.) nobody knows him Better than me. My likes and dislikes
2.) he is very giving, let's me pick which movie to watch and what food to eat.
3.) he finishes my portion of the food which I can't finish or don't like even though he's bloated
4.) he accepts me for who I am.
5.) he allows me to play with my Teddy bears even though I'm 22 and he ends up hugging them to sleep :D ( not a secret anymore. Pls don't laugh at him :) )
6.) he let's me jump, pounce, ride, sleep, sit, stand, on him, carries me in arms even in short distance whenever I want even though he's busy or he'a tired after a long day.
7.) he let's me pick what to wear for him. When I insist. :D
8.) he finishes whatever I cook even-though it's not perfectly delicious. But he still says it's nice
9.) he buys me clothes (only certain that he likes on me) and sweets and candies and teddiez.
10.) he still loves me even though he fliers around for fun, but he's loyal and thinks of me only :)




So the truth behind relationship?? Be straightforward (communication)
Believe in him/her (trust)
Believe in the future that everything will go well (faith)
Love him/her with no regret and no complain (love)


And finally, smile.


Smile and the world will smile to you - me




- Posted from iPhone ♡ AilingC. ILY ♡

Love, Whore, Broken

Found this through Amy's blog. =)

The first three words i found was ; Love, Whore and Broken. LOL!

Then right after Broken i saw Funny. 

Then i saw more words after looking at it for a long time. =D

I'm just a whore. HAHA. a cam-whore. 

Yes i am Broken. 

and i am in love

So give it a try and tell me what's yours

Random people we meet.

Ever walked into a shop and have the sales woman looking at you like you couldn't afford it?
Then they stand aside or gossip or do whatever they do instead of serving you like they should?
It happens when i'm wearing a pair of denim shorts and a comfortable top with my ballet flats or flip flops, I walk into a shop and people look at me and ignore me. Some even stare at me as if i'm gonna steal something. Some would be very annoyingly asking me what i want, and when i say i'm just browsing, they'd get even more annoyed.

It doesn't matter if it's Gucci, or Prada or Ferragamo or any shop. It happens especially in Malaysia. Yesterday i was in Perth Carousel Shopping Mall, when i walked into a hair salon to browse and get a hair mask or serum (wasn't sure which i wanted). I like to keep my options open, to look around before i buy.

So i walked into the shop, there was two girls standing at the counter chatting happily while doing something. One came up and ask if i needed any help or what i was looking for. SO, i told her and see what she would recommend. No harm getting a recommendation right? After asking her so many questions which she couldn't answer, (so much for working in a hair salon, it just proves to me that she wasn't good and i wouldn't go there to do my hair). As i left the shop, she ran towards the other girl and said ''OMG! She's SOO fussy and SOOO annoying. I wonder how she lives with that'' ._.

I have not even left the shop completely yet! I turned and looked at her, she gasped and stund for few seconds before turning away pretending she's looking at something else.

Well, people would say ''How'd you know it's you she's talking about?''

or ''Why would you even care?''

or whatever you would say.

and firstly, WOULDN"T you know if someone talks about you? and why would she gasp and stund for a few seconds then pretend nothing happened? and i don't really care. I just thought about it and can't believe how two face some people can be.

I have had a friend. use to. well, not one. so far i can think of 3 people i met who's like this. When they see me. they go ''WOMANNNN!! why haven't you call me?'' or ''BABE! I miss you so much! why didn't you call me?'' and all that shit and when they turn around, they roll their eyes and mumble ''bitch''  It's just funny how some people are.

Random Cheezy Memories

I came across these msg'es i kept from the bf back in the years. 

FYI. he's a banana. Doesn't know how to read chinese. 

But he speaks cantonese, so he translate from cantonese to chinese and it's very funny.

Everytime i get these msg'es, i use to take it as a guessing game. 

 And of cz, one english one i still keep 

____________________

Then i found my sister's grad pictures which shows how bizarre my hair is.  

A family shot showing i have already been labeled the shortest and won't be growing any as MY BROTHER still grows. 

Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.

It's been a while since i've blogged anything personal or about my thoughts. 

Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened - a famous quote by Dr. Seuss

This is how i try to live my day. Things do happen in our lives, good things and bad things. Things that makes our emotional taking control and confusing us. 

Sometimes we feel like we want to give up, walk away and not turn back. But we often do not have the courage to open the door to take the first step out. We will hesitate, go to sleep by the end of the day, and hoping to wake up for a better day tomorrow. 

They are us who experience more emotional than others. They are us who think more than other. They are us who don't bother like the others. 

We meet people and create friendships along the way. and through incidents and emotions that happen in our life, we get to know who our friends are, who we can click with better. 

Everyone has their way of reason of doing their things, some will listen and change, some will take some time, and there are some who are much more stubborn who insist to stand still.

'Be who you are and say what you feel. because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind' - Dr. Seuss

Another quote which i love. Don't stop doing what you like, or hide your feelings. But of couse, you need to know what is needed to be said when. Those people who really mind what you do, doesn't matter in your life. But those people who really matter and care for you won't mind you being who you are. 

So many years of studying, and this year will seem to be the last year i'd be going to school/uni. 

Now it's the beginning of working years. To get a job, to earn money. Be independent and can't rely on family on financial problems anymore. 

It's not like i've never worked before, but it just feels like a huge responsibility. (i hate working at a job that i don't like) 

and think about the problems with colleagues. the mini war between just to get the job or higher raise.

Then i'd have to start paying everything myself..

Everything just seems to end with financial in the end. 

But one thing i've and i'd learn more is, enough is better than more. 

Then relationship will be the next thing. 

The only thing i'm worried? how my 'job' will effect my relationship. 

sucks big time. but this is life. so i learn not to complain too much about it. but accept it and go on with life. 

"In three words i can sum everything i've learned about life; It goes on" - Robert Frost

I've had a friend who has me how do it i deal with everything.

I told her. Trust. Faith. Love. Hope

Not trying to be anything religious here (i do not touch that matter in my blog)

i trust him

i have faith in him

i love you him

i have hope in him

There's no point if i have no trust in him. no point if i do not have faith or hope in him. and obviously, there won't be any point if there's no love in it. 

So you have the heart to make it work, you love him. you gotta trust him. have faith and hope in him. 

I appreciate the memories given to me. the happy moments and the smile. 

the sacrifices and the tolerance. the trust and faith. 

the games and bullying. 

the kicking and the rolling

the singing and the dancing. 

And the everything that we've done together. 

Saying i love you doesn't prove much, (don't want to overs ay it in my blog)

Cause you do know how i feel =)

It's not lack of love, but lack of friendship that makes an unhappy marriage/relationship

- Friedrich Nietzsche

Wedding Photography

Wedding Photography nowadays aren't just normal photos just it's beginning to get so much more creative 

and more choices us to pick from. 

I came across a random photo album of wedding photos.

Here it is. 

I have no source whereabout the studio is or where it is taken. 

what happens if you lost your phone?

What would have happened to you? If you lost your phone...

So far, i haven't lost any in misplacing or left them somewhere. 

My phone got stolen. TWICE!!!. damn them. i know who they are. 

Anyway, it was a bad year for me that year. 

YESTERDAY, we were meant to go for our weekly movie session at Carousel cannington. 

BUT, unfortunately the boyf lost his phone. So i decided to just skip the movie. 

He looked REALLY pissed off.

I know many people that say 'oh! there's a reason to get a new phone again!'

YES indeed. 

But the memories in there and everything we have. 

That's what matters. 

To tell you the truth, i was pretty pissed off, but i know showing it doesn't do anything either. 

SO,

i called the network, 

i called Apple, 

i called the Bus service! Who played Take Over Control by Afrojack when she put me on hold.

Nothing could be done. 

I called the phone 27 times! like really long ringing call till i get the no-one-picking-up thing. 

I wanted to gave up and just go to sleep so that i won't be pissed and annoy the boyfriend who was pissed off and annoyed and stressed out as well. 

HE even asked me if i wasn't worried because of all my pictures and videos. 

i was like HELL I AM!! if i ever see any on gutter uncensored or any website i will track them down and kill them!. 

Not that there's any naked or porn in his phone. 

BUT STILL!!. 

To me i felt like it wasn't just a phone, it was our memories. 

BOTH of us wanted an iphone for so long, like since 2007 when it first came out, but we didn't really get it. Like there wasn't the urge/motivation. 

Till i came to perth. LDR was hard i tell you. and internet was the ONLY connection that brought us together. 

I got the iphone under the contract, so i didn't have to pay extra or anything. And then HE got it cz i had one. 

and i can tell you, the iphone brought us so much more close together. 

It was like the we-phone. 

All the applications that brought us together. i use to have MORE!. (this was taken now/today)

Last year, i had 2 pages all of application to chat or call or wtv it is. 

The most common we used was Yak Messenger. 

Which we chat like SMS. sending msg'ed day and night 24/7, keeping us connected. (NOT NOKIA ANYMORE! SORRY)

And how we send videos to each other. FOR FREE! internet data was all we needed. 

OR him asking how's my class. ( IT DOES make a difference okay!!! he rarely ask me that now anymore. LOL)and how he use to send videos of hazel. (*sigh* how i miss her RIGHT NOW!)





Then came alone What'sapp. Because Yak Messenger always had to update,and you have to wait for it to sync and receive data or wtv it is everytime you open the app. and what'sapp was only $0.99. i can't be stingy bout THAT!!! so we got it!. 




it was so much more easier!!!sending pictures just to cheer me up knowing i'm unhappy!

HE ALWAYS knows i'm unhappy, like i didn't have to ask him or tell him that i was unhappy. He JUST KNOWS IT. 

well, i guess that's what boyfriends are for right? =D i love you baby. 

SO YES!!!, after everything, i was lying in bed, trying to watch tv and forget my emotional and just calling for the sake of calling.

AND ALL OF THE SUDDEN!!!!

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

..

.

.

.

.

.

.

I hear a girl's voice 'He..lllooo?''

.

.

.

.

.

.

I literally jumped up and sat up in bed and said ''HELLO!!!!''

And she asked me ''Erm. Are you the owner of this phone!''

i was thinking ''HELL I AM!! '' but i just said ''YES! erm.. Are you the one that picked up my phone?'' (technically it wasn't MINE. but since it's the we-phone, so it's considered mine too. LOL)

So She said yea and told me she was on the 208 bus going to Carlisle Train Station. I told her i'd meet her there, got her name. 

Called the cab and left!. 

On the way, i was wondering, we took the 34 bus, how did it end up on the 208 bus??

Either the bus change route! Or some ass hole was playing games.

Cz when i called the bus service, she did told me that kids will pick it up and just bring it to another bus to leave it there. such prank huh?

So yea, we reached, finally saw her. 

She was really young over the phone. Courtney, that's her name. 

And when i saw her, she was like 14?15? still a school girl in her uniform and carrying her heavy bag. 

She was with her mom/sister/someone close but older. So yea..

OMFG!!! THANK YOU COURTNEY!!! i know she doesn't read this. 

BUT, she'd have a good repay by mother nature. 

So yea, baby got his phone back. 

i wonder what he thinks and feel, he was being pretty quite and NOT SAID a word bout it. 

Maybe he was worried about the contacts inside. 

Then he'd be thinking 'DAMN! i'd have to tell everyone my new number!' LOL!!. nvm! we ignore him!!!!!

i'm such an evil person right? But now he's getting anew phone because he can't use his number. technically not his and it's complicated. so yea...

I still remember the time i knew someone stole it. i was so pissed off even i knew who it was. nvm! karma will get to them. 

- Posted from iPhone ♡ AilingC. ILY ♡

what is love?

Love is such a big word, and nobody knows the meaning of it. 

To some people, it's just a word, it may be nothing but to some others, it is more than something. 

If you look at it as just a word, that's nothing. If one looks at it more than just a word, that is something. But if one doesn't even look at it, that's far beyond nothing. 

Some people chose to hide it, to ignore and never admit it. Some people run for it and search high and low for it. 

If you feel loved, appreciate it. 

Looking at someone at telling them you love them, that's something. 

Don't say you love someone if you don't. 

And if you do, don't blame the person for being upset and oversensitive. 

Don't make promises that you can't keep. 

Just remember, when you say it, REALLY mean it. 

___

i have never ever felt so many waves of emotions. 

you make me one hell of a person going up and down. 

But in the end you point the finger and blame me for it. 

We all know we can never control what other say about us,

therefor we can only control our emotions. 

But controlling emotions towards someone we really love isn't as easy as throwing out the trash. 

The memories is all i can remember,

and the other terribles i try to block it with my heart. 

As i fall down deeper, the pressure gets heavier. 

All the water seems to suffocate and blind me. 

i could have given up, but i couldn't. 

We started out greatly, 

But then things started to change. 

We fought over pointless things. 

and cold shoulders were given daily. 

i know one day love will leave. 

i just hope it will never will. 

__

Call me selfish, call you selfish. 

i don't care. 

You have hurt me before, 

you have drawn tears to my eyes. 

Although being hurt by you, 

i still love you, and enjoy loving you. 

I felt joy and happiness. 

Just in knowing you, i hope it stays. 

You have made me feel so many things, 

From unconditional love to bitter hatred. 

Every time you spin a web from love to hate. 

My heart doesn't know what to do, it makes me wanna change, 

but i don't see how i can live without you. 

So stop being so complicated. 

Don't..

___

If love doesn't insist you anymore, 

don't drag it. that's all i can say. 

I have thought and wonder what will happen if we were apart. 

i have dreamt about it and put myself in that position. 

What i will become is not what you think i would be. 

I have always tried to make myself prepare, to be so much more better than others. 

But you have changed me into so much more than i myself can handle. 

My biggest mistake, i've learnt from it. 

But memories and scars will always remain.