♥Lazy Me♥

♥ At times, i sit aimlessly just thinking about nothing.

I know i have lots to do, but i just do not have the motivation and the inspiration to do any of my assignments.

But yet i am sitting here, finally deciding to speak out this side of me.

It has been months since i wanted to talk to someone about this

but i've never found the words to say it out.

Or however to express this.

But i've been here the whole afternoon, practically more than 6 hours.

and it hit me and i really need to say this out.

So i'm warning that this might get quite emotional.

Click the 'x'' button and close this page if you don't want to listen to my crap.

♥♥

For all this time, i've never thought that i would be able to find someone.

Someone to love and care both ways.

Never i felt this way before,

and i've always wanted to see that smile on your face.

I'll do anything to make you smile.

To see that happy face.

I rather be sick and having all the stress and you live a happy life.

Then it struck me that i can no longer stay here any longer.

Or maybe i could,

It has always been my decision.

I could have the choice to say 'no' and stay behind.

this is why i'm lost.

On the other hand, i want to prove to you,

that i keep my words my promise,

that i'll do anything to make you happy.

and i'll always wait for you.

Remember the day you asked me?

If ever ten years later you come to me and realize i am the one what would i do?

I know this question is far beyond what we can control.

and what i answer to you might be bullshit.

But i can say 'the memories you have given me is far beyond anyone could have given me'.

I am scared. but yet trying to stay strong.

I am so afraid that you will just cut me out from your life.

I am so frightened that you will ignore me.

Like you're online but you don't talk. and you don't care.

But like anyone that knows me better enough.

Nomatter how frustrated i am. I always keep it within me.

I pray to have the strength.

To work for life.

For the happiness i want to give you.

I may sound like a guy.

But then i realize, this is what love does to you.

it cuts you blind.

I would die to have you love me back. But this is always up to your heart, your mind.

But what i can give you is happiness and ease the burden from you.

I wanted to stay for valentines next year. I do hope i can.

Everyone is asking why am i making such a big fuss over it as we can always celebrate it earlier.

but it's never the same, because i don't want you to see everyone out but me not being there..

Maybe you might be joyful and glad that you can pick different girls out everyweek. which you know i don't mind.

But i just want you to remember to stay happy.

If she's not the one.

Get one that suits you and be happy.

♥♥

I have made up my mind that i've got to start being independent and staying strong.

Never letting anything breaking down.

I love you. and all i want is to be loved in return

♥♥