♥

♥ 3 more days till i'm home. and 3 more last nights with hubby. ♥

So many things to say. So many feelings to express it out. but not words can describe what i'm feeling. Being this 'insecure' is something i've never felt in this 2 years relationship, and yet it is also something i can't really say it out loud. Maybe i'm just like a baby. who is so relying on hubby that i still can't let go. and letting go, makes me scared. I'm not afraid he'll dump me. i'm not afraid he'll leave me. i'm not afraid how we'll end up. But i'm afraid that he will disappear and ignore me. Like being invincible, seeing him online but yet no reply. Calls but yet no pick up. Maybe it is because of what happened back then, that fears history of repeating itself.

So many things i could have done. So many things i could have do. But i know i can't regret but to look forward. At time i ask myself. Do i REALLY need to leave? do i REALLY need to go? and i realize baby is the only thing holding me back. Baby wants me to stay, baby wants me to go. Baby say he doesn't want to be selfish. But he already has taken my heart away, so what is selfish?

♥ I love u baby. and i want you to know that. remember that forever and believe in us. ♥

For all those times you were with me, you taught me. For all those times you lift me up when i fell. And for all those other times, i will never forget. The memories you have given me. is more precious than anyone can ever imagine. I'm gonna miss the days you'll fall asleep snoring next to me. i'll miss the times we had together. The days we played together..

♥ I teared when you weren't around, not knowing what's gonna happen next. i teared when i watch you sleep. trying to remember every part of you. such silly of me. I know i've got to stop the silliness in me. and i know one day we're gonna look back and start laughing how silly of us we are. ♥

♥ ♥ i love u.. pls remember that. ♥ ♥