you. ♥

♥ I'm at Melbourne now. ♥ Hubby fast asleep here next to me. and i just decided to open my blog and noticed a post form him which i didn't see it at all.

i teared when i read it, and although hubby is just a metre away from me. i feel like telling him sorry, that i love him and i'm sorry for hurting him and putting him into all the trouble.

But i don't regret any decisions i've made. I treasure the memories in my heart. my love. you. ♥♥♥

I finally realized how selfish i was. Making a decision that wasn't what hubby wanted, but it was what i wanted. Nevertheless have i thought about the consequences that hubby would be facing if he followed my decision. I feel so bad, that i didn't push things enough. Life here in Melbourne would be so much better for hubby. Or maybe life in singapore or malaysia would be easier? and i don't know. I really wanna ask hubby, what does he really want. But i know, hubby won't tell me the truth. Because hubby knows i will make my decisions according to what he makes. but i can't help it. =(

If u chose perth, i'll stay till you graduate, If you come to Melbourne, I'll come over and stay till you graduate, If you decide to be in malaysia or singapore, i will be with you. Wherever you are, my heart is where it belongs.

I know whatever i say right now is nothing but useless words that goes in the right ear and comes out from the left ear without analysing it and everything. You might think over it over and over again, not once, or twice about why i did it, why so, what happened to me. And as i sit here down, i think about it, nomatter what i say and how much i say, doubts and questions and insecureness will still be in you, and it's all my fault. Nomatter how much i say sorry, it's no point. Afraid of being left out, afraid of being not wanted, i did stupid things and said worst things. I didn't know what came over me, i was like possessed and a nightmare. i feel like my guts have been tied up tangly every time i think about it. and now, paranoid and insecureness is all my fault.

♥ I'm so happy that u came. Don't know how to explain this feeling inside me. The butterflies in my stomach. ♥

i don't ask for a million dollars, i don't ask for nice flowers, i don't ask for anything, all i'm asking, is you.

I love you hubby, Here i'm telling you, Don't have to worry about your decisions, if you don't want to be in perth, you wanna be in Melbourne, or you wanna bee in singapore. or wherever you want. i will Try my best and MAKE SURE you get what you want, even if it takes me to go up to them personally and ask. and i will be with you, re-unite with you.♥ you, my present, my future.

I love you