最温柔的是你，最疼我的也是你。

我问我自己，为什么不在等我们呢？

但是也知道天上的决定我们不能说的。

你在我梦里出现，我会永远记得。

我真的很伤心，但是我只能在一边哭。

我的心真的很痛。但是我知道我不能在别人面前哭

我爱你。

永远会是你唯一的小苹果

♥ Nothing but tears♥

Everything seems to happen in a flash. It seems like it was yesterday, when i was still in bed and grandma would come over and up in my room and sit between me and my sister’s bed and she’ll be waking us up. The days she’ll use to call me ‘xiao ping guo’’ (little apple).

Time grew so fast and i left for uni, and looking back at time, it has been 3 years since i left.

Driving on the highway to uni when my uncle called, but due to the fact that my phone was having problem, he texted me and asked if i could leave earlier to go home because my grandma had fallen and passed away. It didn’t hit me, but i was breathing really hard, all shock. I rushed to class and hand my assignment and left, then something hit me and told me something is not right, i re-read the message and it says ‘passed away’. Immediately, i broke down into tears and squatted at the stairs of my university. Middle of the public and it didn’t matter, i was all broken down and in tears. I then messaged my brother, my dad and my uncle if it was ‘passed out’ or ‘passed away’. and i got a confirmation message from my uncle that it was ‘passed away’. And yet again, i broke down into tears and just couldn’t help it.

It flashed back, i just had a dream about her last night. It was weird, and it was just me and her. We were in a temple, and she was talking about being a catholic, to be with us. But then i told her, with her being a buddhist, she is still our family, and forever she’ll be with us. I dreamt of her tearing, and we walked in the park. It was a temple, a very beautiful one. with lakes and small huts. I held her hands as we walk, and she told me she had something to tell me, something about the truth of me. But i told her, i know about it already, and she teared. I told her that nomatter what, we will always be a family, she will always be my grandma. And i have loved her nomatter what and will love her no matter what. And she smiled, teared and we just sat down, and the dream was over. Well, dreams are dreams, it’s not all dreams are clear. Right?

When i heard about it, i was devastated, it was as if she had came to me for the very last time. I wasn’t so emotionally when it is was grandpa, but then grandma and us were so close. i just couldn’t help it from being emotional.

You were in my dream,

now, i feel that you are peaceful.

and i need not worry that are you happy or not.

But i trust myself.

and i know, you’ll be here watching us.

Love.

xiao ping guo.

♥another day ♥

♥ hubby is asleep right now. Just came home from fetching marcus to his gf's place.

argh *stretch ****

finally finish my advertising report for tomorrow.

going back home this sat.. can see me aunt. wohooo. ;DD. then party sat night.

and serious back on sunday. lolz.

presentation on monday, i'm so dead aren't i?

but i know i can do it.;DDD *kaching*

Time is passing by so fast and it's already 30th of october 2009! oh wow.

and in a flash time, my sem would be over. 3 more weeks.

the most stressing work is monday.

Oh god. this is why sometimes group assignments are so stressing us out.

Especially, when everyone has different.. personality. *ahem*

For one, i know i totally cannot do anything, and everyone is asking me to kick her out.

oh god. why do i have to be the bad person? but i can't, so i'm just gonna have to deal with it.

Then, not knowing anything about fashion is bad enough, but disagreeing with the fashion world. ok.. you got a problem there. sobs. Then there comes the problem of technology when pc's are so shitty and crashing AT THE END OF SEMESTER. what to do?

Blah. i might be so stressed out that i'm gonna end up doing EVERYTHING. ish ish ish.

why am i taking all the responsibility.

but anyways, it'll work out. it does all the time. ;DD ♥♥

hahahaaa..

love me. i know you do. ♥

_________

ahhh, was chatting with May just now, felt so happy. lolz.

don't ask me why.

just being random.

hubby's asleep. maybe i should go disturb him. haha

♥ fooood ♥

♥ ahhh.. so last night. i finally gotten hubby to have shabu shabu with me. ;DDDD

Though i still prefer jogoya, but all the fun of it.. weeeeeee

the menu♥

♥ halfway through, that's not even close to the end, you should have seen it in the end. lolz.

let's have bubba gump shrimp next !!! ♥♥

♥ ahhh.. can't wait for this. ;D.

lolz.

♥ a change ♥

♥ Going for a change. ;DD.

Firstly, gonna dye my hair. hehez..

OKie.. ;DD

i'm going towards between brown and red. ;DDD

either like the first one, first row,

The third one one the first row.

or the first one on second row.

COMMENTS PLEASE ;DD ♥♥

♥ Or i was thinking this.. 'ginger'. HAHAAA..

but trust me.. if i did it.. It won't be so silky and smooth. ♥

♥tell me which color is nice ;DD ♥♥♥

♥♥♥♥♥

Other than that, i'm thinking of getting a ceramic tourmaline straightener. ;DD

This is the GHD MK4. ;D. pink edition. hehez..

the whole set of it.. incuding and heat proof pouch and the package of it.

it's pink !!!

♥ But i did wonder if i should get the white one. ;D... ahhh..

i ♥ pink and white. =D

♥ Though GHD is a bit pricy. ;DD

and second choice is CHI.

♥AHHHh.. it's also pink. ;DD

what's the benefit of it?

-control of heat temperature

-auto turn off after not used for 30 min (so even if we forget we don't have to worry. ;D )

-it's slim and easy to handle

-due that it's 1 inch or 1.5 inch.. can curl also.. and can handle and straightener short strains of hair

-wet and dry also can use and won't damage the hair. ;D

and there's lots more. hehez..

Google and find out it you really want to know about it.

♥♥

LALAA..

so, please comment on the hair color. hehez.

♥ b'day prezzie. ♥

♥ WEeee.. ;D ♥

HUbby bought me a lomography camera. ( my b'day prezzie. Though its.... a month and a half late. but still ♥♥ )

hehez..

a pretty white one.

BUAHAHAHAHAAA.

though it's filmed and manual. but still. ;D. all the fun.

♥ Though, i feel really bad for upsetting hubby about it. =/.

i'm sorry. T___T

feeling so bad and regret about it. Don't know what to do and it still haunts me.

♥♥

♥ Oh i love you! ♥

♥ Tell me something i don't know. ♥

I love you so deeply,

I love you so much,

I love the sound of your voice,

And the way we touch,

I love your warm smile

And your kind thoughtful way,

The joy that you bring,

to my life everyday.

I love you today,

as i have from the start,

ad i'll love you forever,

with all my heart.

-Amanda Nicole Martinez-

♥♥♥♥♥♥

Hehez. Didn't go back to ipoh this weekend. aunt is back from USA. but didn't get to see her. so maybe will catch her in ipoh. ;DD

♥ HOLIDAY♥

♥ SOOOOOOO!!!!! it's cambodia for 4 nights ! ♥

i did the booking last saturday.. 9 of us.. 2 families. off we go to cambodia..

lalalalaa

♥ Though the place is no shopping and relaxing.

but it's FAMILY and FUN!!

and also a time where i can practise my photography skills. ;DDD

♥♥

♥♥♥

Spare me..

I'll be HOME FOR THE NEW YEARS PARTYYYYY!!!!

don't forget me. ;D

hubby will have to pick me up anyway. =p

♥ i want!! ♥

♥ Hubby, can i have a polar bear? ♥

♥ ♥

I came across this polar bear call ''knut'. SO CUTE AND ADORABLE!!!!!

knut was abandoned by his mother. and then raised by the zoo keeper..

so cute.

anyway,

aparently when knut was about a year old. someone protested and wanted this cute like adorable polar bear to be dead =/

they say it's a humiliation that people are raising the bear. and it's ruining it's life cz it's a wild animal..

Then some say that it is nature mother's choice for it to be abandoned.. or god's decision or smth like that.. and someone said if it's that so, then why do we care about babies who were abandon and left at the dumpster.. it's funny!!hahahaa..

but luckily knut was still alive. ;DDD

♥ So cute right?

hubby, can i have one? ;DD

♥ ♥

let's all adopt a pet.. it's so cute. ;DDD

♥

♥ So here I am sitting at the bench in pyramid. And RESTRAINING myself to buy anything!!!!
Hmmmm....


Ever came across a situation where you bump into someone in the mall
WHICH you know!! And totally forgetten his or her name?
Hahahahah
And then the both of you walk pass slowly, turning a few time looking at each other as if the name would pop up
Haha

Yup! That just happen to me with my sister's ex!
Well, it wasn't just the bf back then u know?
It was were the sister talks to him. He fetches me around sorts thing
And we totally forgotten each others name!!


Hahaha. Ok! Enough of that already. Next thing is style And fashion
Lolz. I know ! Smtg I"m not very good at it either.
But I wanna get more dresses. Enough of t-shirts and short-pants already !
Hahaha....
So today onwards, I am restraining myself from buyng things which I won't be using much.

But first! That doggy is NOT something I don't need!
=]

I am planning something ahead of time, I do hope when time comes it's ready..:)


As I've sat here and blog this, I have been thinking about how next year would be.
Excited as I am to be able to go there, to study there. To gain experience.
But I also afraid to leave, that you disappear and close me away.
Though I know this was my choice even I could stay, but I didn't.
♥

♥ ♥
Would you wait I wonder,
Would you continue to love I wonder,
Would you continue to care I wonder,
Would you continue to forgive I wonder,
Would you, I really wonder..

We haven't really talked about it and all it was left was guesses and puzzles.
So I would like to say here.
Nothing will changer love for you,
Forever you will be my prince charming,
Supporting you in every step of the way.
Through thick and thin, I'll be here for you

Forever. i love you

♥ ♥

♥ loving you ♥

♥ I love you. ♥

*heart YOu..

and there's nothing more i can say about that.

____

Love is the greatest feeling,

Love is like the play,

Love is what i feel for you

each and everyday,

Love is like a smile,

Love is like a sog,

Love is a great emotion,

That keeps us going strong,

I love you with my heart,

my body and my soul,

I love the way i keep loving,

Like a love i can't control,

So remember when your eyes meet mine,

I love you with all my heart,

And i have poured my entire soul into you,

Right from the very start.

-meghan

♥

♥ i wish the babi would update his blog. HAHAHA.. maybe i should do it for him. ♥♥

BECAUSE OF HIM!!!!!

i didn't sleep the whole night.. reached kl at midnight like 1.30am. but he still didn't start his work. waited till 5.30 only start wor.. that's why ended up didn't sleep. I didn't have the energy to go class. So i came back and slept at 11am. HAHAAA.. woke up at 4.45pm like that when hubby came home. then ate lunch. ;D. fried chicken nasi lemak.. niceeeee. ♥♥♥♥

Then went back to sleep. HAHAAA.. such lazy pig we are. ;D. but i woke up at 9.00pm. weee.. wanted to sleep more.. but was so lazy.

♥♥

♥

♥ It hit me right in the heart, the moment my friend mention that my current boyfriend is like my ex-boyfriend.

.______________________.

i didn't know what to think or what to do.

i kept staring at him. which part was it that they were similar?

♥♥

Don't know what's going on.

So many things going on.

and i'm really sad about what's going to happen.

♥

♥Hope everything will be ok.

Not really in a happy mood..

but hopefully will be soon

♥♥

♥ rajin me♥

♥ This is what i did while WAITING FOR THE hubby liew to finish his class ♥

oh~ rajinNYA me. hahahahaha

♥ ♥

NOT POSING ga! really doing one. >.<

was jus bored and took pictures .

being so random..

♥ wee ♥

♥ weee... Today went for a small shopping spree. ♥

hehez..

i bought a bag. RM30. love it. purple in color. hehez.. there was another bag i wanted to buy. it was more casual so i could bring to college. but it was Rm40+ so i might think about it. ;DD . Next would be a dress. hehez.. WAS SOOOOOO dilemma over it. and then i wanted another top too.. But.. it was RM49.90. hubby liked it too. but.. argh. might get it the next time. ;DDD

NEXT.. i went for a professional bra fitting. and realized al the time i was wearing the wrong size. T___T. now i know my size.. and it's still hard for me to believe it. HAHAHA i won't reveal it here. HAHAHAA.. cz i'm still NOT BELIEVING IT hahahahahahhaaa ♥ ♥

♥ you girl ♥

♥ TODAY! it is officially chuah li ying's birthday. ♥♥

hahahahaa.. was being conned by her facebook at the beginning. but towards the middle of the day, someone asked me what day it is? and i said 12th. and they were like NO IT"S 11th! but i was thinking ''how can it be 11th cz it's liying's birthday and hers falls on the 12th! hahaha..

then i went home and found out i was conned. HAHAHAHAHA jk ♥♥

This girl a... don't even know where to start. haha.. she's the best you'll ever meet.

She's pretty, she's smart, she's independent, she's fierce, she's loud, she''s kind, she's sexy, she's everything you name it.

I remember 12 years ago how i met her, and how we talked so much till the teacher separated us in 2 weeks time. but it didn't work. I also remember back then how shy and quiet i was because everyone was talking so chinese mandarin and cantonese. and i NEVER understood cantonese and hated mandarin.

all these years, she's was there when you needed her. I remember the time when i had cramps after PJ when i was 15, literally shaking and couldn't move, she called my dad with my phone. awww.. though i was in pain and couldn't move, i could still hear her. HAHAHA.. ok. anyway, back to her.

She may be fierce, scolding you and telling you something straight forward, like how ugly you look in that dress, or the other skirt looks better, or your hair looks ugly. But she's straight forward, and somehow, it doesn't offend you, but it makes us all laugh.

♥♥

This girl moved to aussie the year after spm and everyone missed her. and now? i'm going to to aussie next year. ;D. ahhh.

This pretty girl is also SO HARD to be chase by those guys. hahaa. cz she's just so straight forward, no means no. *me likey* ♥♥

♥ p/s. she always says she's fat. WHEN SHE"S NOT! hahaa..

i love you liying. and happy birthday. ;D.

20's d. hahahahaa.. no more ten's.